Getting out of bed on a Sunday morning can be challenge for many, but I have absolutely no regrets doing so for an interview and shoot with a dynamic couple that I am going to tell all you lovely readers about. This vibrant duo has been together for the past five years, and is one of the most admired couples in the city. One is a Senior Designer at MAS Intimates, a Fashion Designer in her own right, is highly sought-after as a Ballroom/Latin dancer and DanceFit Instructor and is religiously followed by fans on social media. The other is a Fitness Instructor at High Octane Fitness, a male model and one of the most romantic and devoted husbands a girl could ever ask for; I am talking about none other than Tarja De Silva and Alberto Ruiz, who grace our cover this issue!
Watching both of them working together at the shoot, it’s easy to see that Tarja and Alberto vibe together perfectly and bring out each other’s personalities in the best possible way. This lively and high-spirited couple are the ultimate relationship goals and are so much fun to be around as they possess an enthusiasm for their life, work and everything else in general that is just infectious. It’s very refreshing to see two people fit together so perfectly that they are like two halves of a whole; when they come together, absolute magic happens as they bring out the best in each other. Their story will make any jaded or disillusioned soul believe in true love again, and a Disney movie should seriously be made about these two!
Alberto comes from a family of four boys. One day he packed up and moved to Bristol, UK with the plan of either going big or going home. The latter wasn’t necessary though; when you leave your comfort zone, magic happens, and magic did happen to him in the form of Tarja who danced into his life at a salsa class and the rest is history.
Tarja was in the UK studying Fashion Design and was naturally pursuing dancing as well. She was in her final year when they met at a salsa class. Tarja could not resist the best-looking male in the room or his dance moves and still has the slip of paper on which his phone number was written! Just like the many ironies of life, Tarja had to leave for Sri Lanka three weeks later, but they kept in touch and their romance blossomed over the miles, proof that LDRs’(Long Distance Relationships) can work out with the right amount of commitment.
Six months later, an opening for a fitness instructor came up at High Octane Fitness, and Alberto was more than willing to move to Sri Lanka and take it, but commitment, adjustments and big decisions were involved and all that at such an early stage in any relationship is bound to be more than a little overwhelming. However Tarja being Tarja, took it all in stride and made things work, making the transition from fairy-tale to real life a good one, which goes to show that any relationship can work out if the pair believes in and does not give up on each other (people, take notes).
It’s very endearing how Alberto is completely fine with Tarja being the star, but when you’re next to one, some of the spotlight falls on you as well. Some partners want to be sole receivers of all the attention, but Alberto is completely fine with the way things are; that says a lot about his character and how secure and grounded he is (boys, take notes).
Today we take a look beyond the glam pictures of their lifestyle that we see on social media, and gain insights into what these two balls of energy are truly like.
Esteem: I’m sure you may have been asked this question before, but how do you maintain your weight while travelling?
Tarja: When I travel, I really don’t watch my calories…I eat whatever I want, because who wants to watch calories while travelling? Plus when we travel, we walk a lot as Alberto is a huge fan of walking and no matter what time it is, we go exploring, so I can afford to eat all the gelatos, cheese and have all the wine I want as the calories are burned off! Anyway we are very active even while on holiday – we’re not the ‘stay in a room and watch TV’ sort of people, in fact – we need a holiday after our holidays!
Esteem: Tarja, you have a beautiful smile…what makes you laugh, smile, and be joyful?
Tarja: It doesn’t take much to make me happy…you have to always stay positive and count your blessings! I would say that the simple things in life, such as being near my family, my husband and my close friends are what make me the happiest. I definitely count Dancing as one of my happy places! A person’s source of joy is being who they really are and doing what they really love.
Esteem: Alberto, how did the two of you meet, and what was the first thing that attracted you to Tarja?
Alberto: Tarja gives out this energetic and positive vibe which uplifts not just her, but everyone else around her.
Esteem: Alberto, how would you describe your philosophy about being fit and healthy?
Alberto: I don’t believe that you have to push yourself into working out and desperately count calories in order to look great. What you see on social media is the ‘perfect body illusion’ portrayal as a business for people who want to sell their fitness products; most of what we see on social media is not real and is actually being marketed to us. The people who come to my classes lead real lives…they go to work, they have kids, they go out and eat, drink, have dessert, the works! If they want to look like a certain fitness model and follow a strict diet and a heavy workout plan, there’s a good chance of them giving up after 2-3 weeks as it cannot be sustained. I tell my clients to strike a balance between what they like and what they want; I believe that the more they restrict themselves, the greater their chances are of going overboard and making unhealthy food choices. So I have them make flexible meal choices that would let them enjoy what they like, yet also eat healthily.
Esteem: What were the most important things you learned from your respective parents?
Tarja: From my father, I definitely learnt his perseverance and his work ethic. He started from grass-root level and worked hard to get to where he is now, and I really admire how he has earned his position and where he is today. From my mum, I admire the patience she had with me and I don’t know how she did it because I was a difficult child, but she’s so selfless and her whole life’s dedication to me is something that I can never repay.
Alberto: They taught me the value of hard work and how to respect people.
Esteem: What would both of you say are the keys to a successful relationship?
Both: There’s a key? Can we have it? (They don’t really need a key, why are they asking for it?!)
Tarja: It’s really about understanding and respecting each other. You have to let your significant other grow the way they need to and know how to; never restrict them from anything. Trying to change a person is equivalent to controlling them – breaking their spirit and making them feel like they’re not good enough is the worst type of relationship anyone could ever be in. If you find a partner that truly accepts you for who you are, you are sorted for life.
Alberto: For example, I met Tarja while dancing and that was one of the reasons I fell in love with her, so what right do I have to ask her to give it up just because I don’t like seeing her dancing with other guys? Nobody has the right to ask their partner to give up something they are really skilled at/talented in! Our relationship is successful because we give each other space to grow and evolve. We’re pretty laid back in our relationship, we don’t set any rules and we’re not insecure about one another. I think the key to any successful relationship is to have a complete sense of who you really are, then that way you can be absolutely relaxed and sure of your partner.
Reader’s note: The only time they do disagree is when Tarja has taken on too many work appointments and Alberto gets upset with her for not getting enough rest!
Esteem: How do you make quality time for each other with your busy schedules?
Both: Weekdays are insane…we only see each other at night, when we have dinner and go to bed! Some weekends can also be quite hectic, but there are the ones where we take a little trip out of Colombo and spend quality time together.
Esteem: Can you share a memorable story with us?
Tarja: I was training some kids for a dance competition and one day, my colleagues from dancing told me that we had a show in Trinco which was on the same day as the competition. As they had specifically asked for me and Kevin, I agreed to go. A few days before the ‘competition’, Alberto offered to pack my suitcase for me and even said he’s coming with me to ‘Trinco’. I thought that was really weird because I’m quite picky with my packing, so he lets me do it myself. I felt there was something fishy, but I let it go. I had a very busy week and when we left on Friday, I was so tired that I fell asleep in the vehicle. When I woke up, Alberto and I were at the airport and there was no sign of Kevin or the dancers! I was so confused and asked Alberto what was going on, but he remained mysterious. As he had my passport with him, I had no idea where I was going when I got to the check-in; he even passed through immigration for me! I did not know what was happening until we got to the gate and when I found out that we were going to Maldives, I was thrilled as it is one of my favourite holiday destinations. We stayed in this stunning resort and went on a really romantic sunset cruise. That night at dinner, Alberto presented me with a beautiful bouquet of roses and PROPOSED TO ME! The ring was hidden in the roses! Words cannot describe how I felt; shocked, delighted and just over the moon! That was one fairy-tale proposal and that weekend will never be forgotten!
Esteem: What do you feel is your responsibility to your community?
Tarja: I love to dance and as that is my calling, I would like to teach someone how to do that and mostly to people who haven’t had much exposure. I have done dance training with kids at many dance schools and I may open my own dance studio someday, but there are no solid plans for that as yet. I would also like to work more towards women’s empowerment, because even in this day and age, there is a lot of female discrimination and women are still slandered, in person and on social media. I don’t think anyone has the right to sit behind a screen and judge people, so I support the life ethic about women empowering themselves to do whatever they like, without being bullied by people. Women should know their self-worth and stand up for themselves.
Esteem: Where do you see yourselves 10 years from now?
Tarja: We hardly know what we’re going to do next week! I love dancing and performing and I want to give that back to society. It has always been my dream to open my own dancing studio, but I don’t know when I will do so. The one thing I do know is that whether I do or not, I will always continue to dance. Our goals are to better ourselves every day, grow and evolve. We actually know more about when our holidays will be than our life plans, because the best part of about Life is not knowing where our road will take us next. You can have an idea of what you want to do and where you see yourself, but the bottom line is that life just happens and you can’t really plan it. It’s about taking the best of the situation you are in and making it work. It’s nice to always be open to change.
Alberto: It’s a good idea to have pencil sketches of what you want, and keep the eraser with you as well! If you had told me six years ago that I would move to England, meet the love of my life and find myself travelling around South Asia and working in Sri Lanka, I would never have believed you, because I did not see myself doing that! Life is full of challenges and I want to see us growing, improving and evolving into better people than we already are.
Some of you might say that Tarja and Alberto are happy people because they get a lot of exercise. That’s partly true and all of you should take a trip down to the gym, like right now! But seriously, the actual reason they exude such lively and vivacious vibes is because they are living their lives to the fullest and on their own terms.
By Michelle Alles & Photography by Anushka Sanjaya Perera